`hopeless.

Saturday, July 31, 2004

*Tears In My Eyes*

31/07/04
5.25pm

Jux came back frm work.. Have a bath and do not really feel like slping.. Turn on my com and i decide to update my blog lor.. Tis early morning.. (30/07/04) Encountered someting i found it beri amusing.. It was my fren wL.. We were at lecture hall listening to IISO lecture.. Suddenly my frenz found a silver coloured packaging like a sweet in wL's front pocket of the bag which was not properly zipped. My frenz tot it was a sweet.. He den ask wL to gif him 1.. But wL jux ignored him.. He jux insisted tt he did not bring any sweets to skool.. My frenz bth his selfishness liao.. My frenz den signal to another frenz hu was sitting beside wL.. 1 hold on to wL and the other took his bag n opened.. To their amaze.. The silver packaging was actually CONDOMS.. Wat was wL bringing condoms to skool for? We started to throw qns at him.. He jux doesn't wan to ans.. Den my frenz threaten him.. If he does not ans hor.. My fren will throw the condom to the gals hu r sitting jux below us nia.. wL was a bit scared n said.. "My fren say use condom blow balloon more fun!!!" Den we all started to luff n luff so loud tt the teacher caught our attention.. Den i did not noe my frenz was so cb until.. He really went to throw the condom down to the gals.. And he told the gals.. "Erm.. My frenz dropped his stuff.. Could u mind picking up for him?" One of the gals pick up the condom n was stunt.. She held the condom and throw it at wL.. wL was so pai seh until he went to the toliet n hide rite after the lecture.. Lolx.. I guess wL has to hide his face everytime he walks ard IT blk ba..

When i was having a IISO lab.. I read wat kL wrote in her blog.. I did not know she gt such a sad story.. It jux remind mi of some 1 too.. Some 1 i used to cry during nitez.. Some 1 i could not get over wif.. Some 1 hu had left mi years ago.. Some 1 hu i tot i had jux 4gotten until now.. My grandfather.. (Ye Ye) My grandfather was not a beri nice person i first knew or shld i say heard? Tis is bcos he was paralysed.. He could not move so usually when we visit him n grandmother.. He will be always sitting on the sofa watching tv or jux lying on the bed slping.. The onli time we talk to him was during the time we reach we call him and during the time we leave we say gd bye.. I gt a beri bad impression of him.. In fact i dislike him beri mux.. Tis is bcos my dad used to told mi.. "When we were having dinner.. No 1 was suppose to luff or joke.. Every1 was jux quietly having their dinner.. No wasting of foods - Not even a single grain of rice.. Everything mux be finish!!! Sometimes he is so furious until he can turn the table upside down and the whole family can have no dinner for tt nite.." But everyting started to change when he started to move in wif us.. At first it was a no no.. Cos i had to actually gif up my room to him n my grandmother.. N given my grandfather attitude.. I dun tink i ta han.. My mum told mi it was jux for a short period of time.. Haix.. Since it is the way is it.. So be it.. I remb 1 day.. I came back frm skool.. Tired n shag.. I went to do my hw.. Suddenly i heard some 1 groaning in pain.. It was coming frm my room!!! 1 thought of it n i knew it was him.. He wanted water.. So i went to refill his water bottle and he actually thx mi.. Den i had a little chat wif him.. He told him how regretted he was.. How he treat his kids last time.. He even say maybe he paralsyed is his bao ying.. He say he say until tears come out.. Actually i found him beri ke lian.. Cos he has been suffering alot too.. Beri lonely oso.. No 1 to tok to.. So everyday after skool i will spend some of my time talking to him.. I even help my grandmother to change his diapers.. Feed him medicine and even cleaning him!!! There den i noe it was so hard n difficult to take care of him.. I remb him saying.. "I wish i could leave tis world faster.. Den ur grandmother will not be so xin ku.. Ur dad n uncles will not spend so mux money on medicines.." I listen to tis sentence and i cry.. I told him.. "U took care of them once.. Now let them took care of u back.." I onli get to noe the real him a couples of wks n he went back to my aunt's hse.. After a few wks, he passes away.. Only then i noe actually he is trying to spend his last moments wif each of us.. I could not even see him 4 the last moments.. My grandma told mi tt b4 he died.. He kept calling "Guo Dong!! Guo Dong Ar!!" I jux hated myself.. Y can't i noe the true him earlier? Y mux until the last moments den i noe everything.. Isn't it too late? Sometimes i wish i could go back to time and turn everything ard..

maRcUs` (",)

| yawns @ 6:28 AM|

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Friday, July 30, 2004

*Feel Like Construction Works Is Going On In My Head...*

29/07/04
10.00pm

Haix.. Today ji tao feel sick sia.. Head beri pain ar!!! Ji tao head keep spinning sia.. Ji tao sleep throughout all the lectures.. (I onli go for 1 today..) Today is not my lucky day sia.. Got back my FDCNK case study paper le.. I gt 9/20.. I fail sia.. *Sad* I tot i will pass de leh.. Remb.. I gt study.. But all the ans jux go haywire.. Haix.. Tink it is time for mi to work hard liao.. Dowan to be left behind.. Actually today oso gt nth mux happenings lor.. Jux a normal day wif a normal life.. Tink of it.. Time really passes real FAST sia.. Few more days and it will be end of a mth liao le.. Den it oso means PAYDAY coming le!!! Lolx.. I guess i will wan to use the money to change my hp.. Use GD88 until beri sianx le.. I oso duno wan to change to which model gd.. Any advice? Haha.. *More and more excited* Lolx.. *Listening to Chen Xiao Chun de Nu Gai Rang Nan Ren Tai Lei..* I tink the lyics is so right for mi sia..

爱得好累
真的好苦
女人不该让男人太累
虽然你是我的一切
也别让我感觉爱你很可悲
爱得好累
真的好苦
从来听不见你的一句赞美
就算我做的都白费
之少就让我保留一点
爱得好累
真的好苦
我不怕辛苦
可是怎样你才满足。。。

maRcUs` (",)

| yawns @ 1:20 PM|

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Thursday, July 29, 2004

*Seeing Stars Above My Head*

28/07/04
10.55pm

Muhahaha.. Today time passes real fast sia.. Skool suppose to end at 5 de today.. But den teacher postpone the Cmaths to tml morning 10 o'clock sia.. So today 12 i already beri free le.. Went to pavilion again.. Play billard.. Tis time lose sia.. Gt to pay.. (Wonder y i lose too.. Mux be too mux thoughts on my mind.. Neber concentrate!!! *Excuses*) Den went to TM walk walk.. Darren wanted to buy a polo tee den ask mi buy along.. I agree lor.. Bought 1 white colour 1.. Den saw at the lobby there gt FILA sales.. Den i caught my eye on a sweater.. Since K-ster so cold plus all the cold jokes.. I tink i nid it sia.. So i bought lor.. Quite nice la the design not 4geting the colours too.. Quite cheap too.. Bought it at $39.90.. I tink is worth it.. Haha.. I like the sweater so mux tt i went hm and took some pics wif it.. (Zhi lian hor?) Haha.. Show some of it to GuoJie.. Haha.. He abit bth mi liao.. Oh ya.. I almost 4get le.. I wan to share smth wif u guys tonite.. I haf a fren hor.. He told mi smth.. I duno i wan to luff or feel sad 4 him.. He told mi "I likes tis gal alot.. Damn alot.. One fine day.. I stead wif the gal sia.. I was so god damn happy.. But we onli last for 1 day onli.. Y? Bcos he pray to the God ma N say.. Pls.. Jux 1 day will do!!! Arghh.. If onli i told him 4eva.." Tis is not a joke lor.. It is real life de.. Tt y i duno wan to luff or feel sad sia.. But i understand 1 ting frm him.. Becareful of wat u wish? Nah.. Is happiness is always within ur hands.. See u wan to get hold of it onli ma..

maRcUs` (",)

| yawns @ 2:30 PM|

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Wednesday, July 28, 2004

Ji Tao Duno Wat I Am Feeling Now...

27/07/04
6.00pm

Hmm.. Ytd nite.. zX gt sms mi leh.. He told mi he is still sad sia.. He told mi tt he nid a joke to cheer him up.. So i send him the joke KaiLinG sent to mi de.. Haix.. I tink he really loves her alot.. Den after tt KaiLinG oso moody.. Den i oso told her 1 of my lame jokes.. Den she luff.. I jux wondered.. Maybe God created mi to make ppl happy? How cum God neber creates another guy to make mi happy as well.. But seeing them happy.. I am oso contented.. Bcos one shld live in happiness but not saddness.. Aniway.. I told zX something which is frm my heart.. "Loving Someone Does Not Really Means You Mux Haf Her... But Is Wanting Her To Be Happy..." Haix.. Enough of ytd nite stuffs le la.. I woke up tis morning wif a headache sia.. (Maybe i woke up on the wrong side of the bed? *My bed onli gt 1 side...*) Finish skool at 11.. (Early hor? So song..) Den we go makan.. After makan hor.. We start to share jokes.. We were all luffing out loud sia.. The whole canteen was filled wif our laughters.. Although some jokes i heard b4.. But in different version la.. But some i do find it beri lame sia.. After our lunch hor.. Went to pavilion.. Play billard wif wEiLiAnG.. Den pool wif aLvIn and KeNjI.. KeNjI was quite pro wif pool sia.. Placings beri gd.. After playing.. KeNjI went back to skool 4 soccer.. Den aLvIn n wEiLiAnG n mi went to TM walk walk.. We see clothes lor.. Den tt aLvIn started to lame.. Lame until i bth.. Dowan to play liao.. He always like to di siao gals sia.. Wan to slap him sometimes.. Oh ya.. When we were at TM today hor.. I saw JaCkSoN wif her stead at pastamania eating.. He was BOTAK!!! Haha.. Fei Hua.. He doing NS now ma.. Lolx.. Tok to him a few sentences we went off to our homes le lor.. Reach hm den i went ard digging for foods.. Den i realise.. If i were to stuck at hm ar.. I sure die within days!!! Lolx.. Ji Tao no foods lor.. When Mum comes.. Mux tell her tis le.. Haha.. Guess i will end here.. Ok guys.. When u r down.. Trying tinking of the jokes u haf heard.. U will feel alot betta.. =x Luff n smile more often!!!

maRcUs` (",)

| yawns @ 9:30 AM|

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Tuesday, July 27, 2004

*Rubbing My Eyes - Yawning - *

26/07/04
7.45pm

Today nth happen mux.. Woke up at 1 plus like tt.. First time i slp until so song sia.. But i am still tired now.. (Wat a pig rite?) Lolx.. Today went to skool for 2 hrs of lab.. I ji tao late for skool lor.. Ji tao late for 5 mins like tt.. Ji tao not so bad lo.. Ji tao teacher oso late lor.. Mux be wondering how cum suddenly so many "Ji Tao" sia.. Cos i gt tis "Ji Tao" virus frm KaiLinG la.. She always "Ji Tao" here "Ji Tao" there.. Ji tao quite fan to hear the word "Ji Tao" rite? Haha.. After skool went to eat wif my class the ppl.. Today i was so quiet sia.. (Maybe i was jux too hungry?) Speak less den 10 sentences of words i tink.. Haix.. So sianx sia.. I wish holidays is tml liao.. Haha.. Den can go out havoc liao.. Haha.. Ji tao HAVOC lor.. =x Anyway.. Term test coming le.. Means holidays is round the corner lor.. Hehe.. It oso means tt i nid to go n study liao le.. My first term test.. I dowan to fail everything.. Maybe 1 or 2 will do? Haha.. I will try to pass all the la.. Btw.. I tink now my blog gt music liao le.. If u duno the song.. It is Lin Jun Jie's song.. The title is Dou Jiang You Tiao.. (Beri cute rite?) Tis song is so meaningful sia.. I love the lyics.. Ok la guys.. I tink i will jux end here le.. Going to touch up my NMM project.. Tml is the dateline liao le.. Cya guys.. Last word for you all.. Ji Tao Gd Luck To Those Having Tests Now!!! Haha..

maRcUs` (",)

| yawns @ 11:13 AM|

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Monday, July 26, 2004

*Eyes Half Close Half Open*

25/07/04
11.40pm

Haix.. Ytd did not update my blog.. Bcos slp until quite late wor.. Den went straight to work le.. So sry guys.. But ytd oso gt nth mux happen.. Onli tt Lorenz was not in gd mood lor.. Find faults in us.. Den i tio caught wif hp on my body.. Sianx half.. Sunday ar.. I tot i can go out n haf fun sia.. But last min hor.. LeeTian sms mi zX breaks wif qY leh.. Wa lan eh.. They jux stead for few wks onli leh.. How cum so fast gt prob liao? Haix.. After tt den i noe qY ex went to find her back.. zX was so heartbroken sia.. He told mi 3 times he stead hor.. 3 times oso gal ditched him leh.. Den i gt oso try to talk tt qY out.. Tok ar tok.. Until i tink of my ex liao leh.. But den i neber cry.. Cos i wan to forget abt her.. K-ster now alot of staffs leaving liao.. qY and KaiLinG... I will miss them sia.. Mux get on wif my life.. I tink i will jux end here le ba.. Beri tired.. Tml gt skool.. Mux study hard le.. Nex nex wk is my term test liao le.. *Jia You*

maRcUs` (",)

| yawns @ 2:55 PM|

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Saturday, July 24, 2004

Jux Woke Up Frm Nap... *Headache*

23/07/04
4.48pm

Haha... *Listen to FanFan de Dao Bu Liao* Hmm.. Is KaiLinG ask mi if i haf ma.. Den i went ard to ask my fren.. Without efforts.. I gt the file le.. It was beri nice sia.. Listening to it a "millions" time liao.. (I dl the song ytd de...) Lolx... Toking abt mp3s... There is 1 i like to introduce to u all.. The song is FanXiaoXuan - Qian Yi Shi.. I first listen was at where at? Oh ya.. Remb liao.. Is at KaiLinG de blog.. Den she send the song to mi.. Tt 1 i like it even more sia.. In fact i was in love wif it.. Jux like LinJunJie - Dou Jiang You Tiao.. Haha.. Enough of mp3s liao la.. Later some 1 went to report mi sia.. Lolx.. *Xiang Dai Duo Le* Ok.. Today first class at skool start at 8 sia.. Though early, time pass beri fast.. (Bcos i was late 15 mins?) Haha... Den on the spot i did the AFD and IFD diagrams sia.. (I so shen rite.. With the help of JieLin's work) -.- Ok den went to makan at the Business Food Court.. I oso duno y i always go there eat? Maybe our food court down for renovation and it is the nearest to us or some other reasons? Haha... Today hor... I was pai seh again.. Cos when i was buy western food rite.. Den JieLin was beside mi.. Den i press the chilli sauce on my plate.. Den gt those funny sounds den "JieLin" hu was beside mi luff.. Den i tot my beside was JieLin ma.. Den i smile at her back leh.. In the end the person beside mi was not JieLin but a stranger wearing same colour as her.. Wa Lao.. *Pai seh lor..* I quickly run back to my seat sia.. My fren still ask mi.. "Tt gal u noe 1 ar?" Lolx.. I jux keep luffing.. Hmm.. Rite after we finish our foods ar.. Den we went straight to the lab le.. Do the IISO stuffs.. Mux hand in today de.. Den Alvin came n lend my phone.. Den he started to zhi lian liao.. Go ard taking pics wif the classmates.. Bth him sia.. Den almost all gt the peace sign 1.. @@ already i wan to slap him.. Lolx.. He still can tell mi cute ma.. Wa Lan eh.. After the IISO lab ar.. I went back to hm le.. Did not go 4 Java tutorial.. Cos i scare i cant make it to work.. Cant late ani more le.. Already minus 1 day le.. Maybe tt will explain y i add the entry so early.. Cos later i will be working.. So the only time i haf is now lor.. Ok la.. Today the mood quite happy.. Cos later get to @@ Zhi Xiong, Lee Tian n Wei Liang... The gang of jokers lai de.. Work wif them beri happy de no matter how tired u r.. Haha.. Oh ya.. Mao LinG bdae coming.. So sad sia.. Cant attend.. Cos 31st gt work.. Try to take leave n attend? zZzz *Lost* Alrite la.. I guess i will end here.. Wad happen tonite i will write them tml? Off to bath le..

maRcUs` (",)

| yawns @ 8:15 AM|

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Friday, July 23, 2004

Hugging my bolster...

22/07/04
10.45pm

Hmm.. Today time is on my side? Time fly fast sia today.. Went to skool at 2pm to take a stoopid test which i tink i am going to fail? Haix.. So sad sia.. Actually all the qns all i noe the ans de.. Jux tt it is ALL mix up!!! Aiyo.. guess i haven slap myself.. *Piak* Oh ya... There was something i wan to share abt.. There was this gal hor.. Her name was Shirlyn.. She was frm my class de.. We noe each other for 5 wks le ba? Ok.. Only today i saw the real her sia.. She was beri ci ci wen wen at the start.. But today hor.. She was actually cracking jokes to mi leh.. N she is so lame!!! I did not expect her to be like tis sia.. Totally like different person sia.. It all started when we saw a gal nex block.. She was standing at the highest floor near the railings.. She den held her hands up.. Den we suspect she was crying lor.. Den trying to unwind her feelings or wat.. Den i started to lame as usual.. I say "I hope she will not xiang bu kai" She luff.. N guess wat she reply? "Dun worry la.. spiderman will save her de.." Lolx.. Tis 1 oso can link? Den we start to exchange jokes.. We were like competing sia.. 1 frm mi den her.. And so on.. Jie Lin was there luffing at our jokes.. We were luffing at our cold jokes lor until the teacher came n we haf the test.. Once finish i head hm straight away.. Once hm.. KaiLinG msg mi in msn.. N i told her some jokes frm Shirlyn.. She oso tink she is mux more lamer den mi.. *I admit defeat* Lolx.. I tink i will jux end here le.. Nth more to write abt today stuffs le.. Tml is another boring day at skool sia.. Skool end at 3... Hope time is on my side tml.. Betta still all the time..

maRcUs` (",)

| yawns @ 2:22 PM|

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Still in the sleepy mode...

22/07/04
11.20am

Did i forget to add a entry ytd? So forgetful mi sia.. Haha.. No la.. i was actually working.. (K-ster) Lorenz told mi tt there were not enough ppl working.. But when i reach there hor.. There were quite alot of ppl working lor.. i tot he dua mi sia.. But actually is there were 2 new guys working there.. 1 is Tim another is Wei Teck i tink.. Both get on wif us fine la.. neber give troubles.. Lolx.. back to the point.. Ah kien (bartender) took off ma.. Den no 1 takes care of the bar.. So ytd i do bar lor.. Quite ok la.. The prob is i 4get how to record le.. Lolx.. stoopid mi.. But in the end.. I ask Jeff lor.. He is oso a new guy lai de.. Cos he did bar 2 days straight ma.. Den the infos shld be fresh in his mind.. Haha.. Den he oso ask mi abt hall stuffs.. Cos he first time do hall ytd.. Lolx.. Ytd was Felicia Birthday... Once again... - Happy Birthday Felicia!!! - Though too late.. But i wish her advanced liao le.. Haha.. They went to celebrate at Cha Xuan (Our head branch) Den saw KaiLinG.. She went down to sing (Actually is waiting for QiuYun? But QiuYun still nid her meh? ZhiXiong gt come down ma.. Lolx) Since i do bar hor.. She came to mi for a cup of milo.. Den only i realise frm QiuYun tt she loves milo so mux tt she can drink 8 cups a day? WoW... Tt a record settings by her.. Haha.. Oh ya.. I saw Wayne.. Haha.. Tt idiot.. i neber seen him 4 a long time liao.. Craps wif him lor.. Updating him abt our K-ster love life.. Lolx.. Tink of it.. I oso feel like luffing sia.. Ok.. Time was not on my side.. Time was passing so slow sia.. Haix.. So sad.. Reach hm abt 4 plus like tt.. Went to bath n straight to bed le.. After tt here i am.. sitting here typing.. *Tap Tap* Later i 2 o'clock haf a class.. It is actually a case study which is a test i later on noe.. I guess i finish tis page n off i go n study le ba.. Den today the entry i guess i write again? Duno can ma.. Later try.. Gd Luck to whu r taking ur exams now!!!

maRcUs` (",)

| yawns @ 2:21 AM|

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Wednesday, July 21, 2004

A Beri Moody Day Indeed...

20/07/2004
11.20pm

How cum i every days oso moody de?? Y cant 1 day be happy? Haix.. I am so FAN!!! Arghh!!! How i wish tml is end of the day? Den i will haf no more worries liao.. But i oso cant be so selfish oso.. Others need to live too.. I guess i jux haf to get on wif my life? Geez.. i hate it man.. Before nitez... Jie Lin sms mi not to go 4 the Java lecture den i will haf 1 more hr to slp? Talking abt Jie Lin.. Her birthday was today wor.. - Happy Birthday Jie Lin!!! - Back to the point.. I agree lor.. Since ytd nitez i was so tired man.. (Busy making tis blog?) So tis morning, i neber go for java lecture which i later on noe tt today's lecture gt attendance marked? Haix.. suan le ba.. But den i gt another surprise.. The NMM project we were supose to hand up today ar... has change the dateline le.. To NEX WK.. *yea!!* At least i was happy for tt moment onli? Today went back hm beri early.. On my way back hm, i was tinking of taking out my hp n sms her!!! Haix.. I wan to forget her!!! I really DO!! Someone taught mi a way tt is try not to contact her? Maybe tt 1 of the way of forgetting her ba.. Or maybe tt is jux 4 the time being? How i wish human brain is like the storage of data.. U wan tt memories.. U keep it.. If u dowan those unhappy times... U delete it.. Jux so simple.. Ok la.. i tink i will jux end here le.. Too tired to continue.. Jux too tired... Life jux goes on...

maRcUs` (",)

| yawns @ 2:45 PM|

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Monday, July 19, 2004

-A Beri Moody Day...-

A Beri Moody Day...

19/07/2004
7.25pm

Haix.. A start of a new week.. Class start at 8 which is not a beri nice time.. It start off wif a boring tutorial wif a boring subject wif a boring teacher.. Today we cover on the goals of our life.. I feel tt everyone mux haf a goals in order to head on in the future.. For mi, it is actually beri simple de.. I jux wan to lead a simple life will do.. No worries at all.. If i could choose to live.. I would choose a desserted island wif my loves 1.. (",) Everything will be so nice!!! lOlx.. I dun tink tt impossible ba.. *Poke the bubbles wif a needle...* Back to real life ba... Today i saw a gal tt was so look-alike my ex.. Wa.. i tot she was.. I jux kept looking at her.. It was so pai seh when her fren told her some 1 was looking at her.. I quickly turn my head away and continue walking.. Looking at her reminds mi of the times i was wif her.. But it is already over le.. So no use broading abt it.. 1 mux learn to gif up tings which are not meant to be urs.. Ok la.. I tink i will end here today.. So sry if u tink tt it is so short as tis time my first entry in the blog.. Hope u can understand... I am so tired N hungry sia.. Go makan le.. Den do my NMM stuffs.. Tml mux hand them up de.. Gt to rush.. Maybe tt the kind of life we all r leading now.. But haf U ever ask urself.. Is tt the life we wan? Haix.. Maybe tt how life goes...

maRcUs` (",)

| yawns @ 10:47 PM|

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